Monday, April 30, 2007
I wrote Your name right there,
Now i wonder if should i erase it;
So lady tell me quick,
Should i do it;
We’re going nowhere,
I know very well this;
People told me,
“Get over her,dude”;
I ignored,(really ignored)
Cos i believed i’m doing good.
And now,I realize;
All this spells,
N-o-t-h-i-n-g.
Damn me,
I’ve lost my possession to you;
My Heart,Baby;My Heart.
Should i retrieve it;
Tell me,Should I.
Tidak pernahku ragu;
Dan selaluku ingat,
Kau datang dan pergi;
Oh begitu sahaja.
Kerlingan matamu;
Dan sentuhan hangatmu,
Kau hilang diri;
Begitu sahaja,
Oh betapa kejamnya;
Sehingga diriku merindu,
Sayang jangan seksaku;
Aku lemas di sini.
Dewi,dengarlah bicaraku
Setiap detik,setiap hadirmu
Oh mengertilah,
Debaran jantung tak terkira
Otak bergeliga tak terhenti
Mengapa Dewi,Mengapa Sayang
Tebarkanlah keharuman kasih
Yang selama ini aku ingini
Terbanglah ke mari,
Ke diriku.
Raut wajahmu,
Secantik sebintang filem layar perak
Alismu,
selentik taji dibentuk
Pipimu,
selicin pauh dilayang
Bibirmu,
semerah delima merekah
COOL KAN BAHASA! :D :D :D
Redlove and Hotsex; at 6:39 AM
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Higher Malay exam turned out to be a killlerrrrrrrr /:
Wah,omg mati,mati (!!)
I think i managed to survive for peribahasa.
But for the cloze passage and the open ended compre,
urgghhhh, i think i screwed it.
I hate questions that are meant to make me squeeze my goddamn brains to get the answers.
So annoying like woah okay.
and oh, hahaha crescent giler nak mampos
rumours that are so not true got spread around.
Hahaha,syahirah dearest! if we know who starts it, we shall screw that person upside down okay!
Set ah setttttt ;D
and aye,nasuha told me sth abt pretty ec.
hahahahaha and i disturbed her abt that.
HEE:D
eh aku rase kejam sebab aku bully dier pasal bendetu.LOL!
On a lighter note,
went to JE to have our lunch first at macs.
Had lunch with nasuha and fadhil since syahirah has to go home first.
then nasuha went to toa payoh if im not wrong
Headed to library with syahirah and fadhil to study
But apparently something hindered syahirah from focusing to study.
Sorry la babe.
:D:D:D
went home.
rested.
and sms some ppl abt flowers.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 2:51 AM
Higher Malay exam turned out to be a killlerrrrrrrr /:
Wah,omg mati,mati (!!)
I think i managed to survive for peribahasa.
But for the cloze passage and the open ended compre,
urgghhhh, i think i screwed it.
I hate questions that are meant to make me squeeze my goddamn brains to get the answers.
So annoying like woah okay.
and oh, hahaha crescent giler nak mampos
rumours that are so not true got spread around.
Hahaha,syahirah dearest! if we know who starts it, we shall screw that person upside down okay!
Set ah setttttt ;D
and aye,nasuha told me sth abt pretty ec.
hahahahaha and i disturbed her abt that.
HEE:D
eh aku rase kejam sebab aku bully dier pasal bendetu.LOL!
On a lighter note,
went to JE to have our lunch first at macs.
Had lunch with nasuha and fadhil since syahirah has to go home first.
then nasuha went to toa payoh if im not wrong
Headed to library with syahirah and fadhil to study
But apparently something hindered syahirah from focusing to study.
Sorry la babe.
:D:D:D
went home.
rested.
and sms some ppl abt flowers.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 2:20 AM
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Don’t scold me if I kept on doing life reflections nowadays.
I’m sorry, but uh huh I have been doing a lot of those.
I know my posts sound emo, but wth I don’t care.
My life’s crashing down, eversince the 14th.
Nasuha knows why. I never felt so handicapped before.
And guess what I reflected about today!
About the friends I have around me.
Tak cool langsung, aku tau /:
So I got all emotional again,
thinking about the friends I’m supposed to be really bonded with.
Heck, I know I’m out of the clique now.
At first, when I was aware of this, I was disappointed like fuck.
Damn I should really screw myself.
So much for hoping, so much for wanting
In the end, I lose all of it.
It’s just so contradicting to come to think about it
The name of the clique all started because of sth I did
That chocolate cracker, PILLOWS.
I wanted so much for us to be united.
But still in the end, i lose all of it.
Mind you, all of it.
Then, i told myself i should be strong.
Being cliqueless isn’t the end of the world.
So, i picked myself up.
And yes, i managed to live.
Atleast, to a certain extent that is.
Cos honestly,
Now again, i’m beginning to feel like a stupid,idiotic loser.
I’m like some reject person, some loner.
I hate this feeling cos it worsen my already low self-esteem.
I don’t know who the hell reads my blog.
Except for some people who of course i really appreciate.
So yes, that’s the thing that has been bothering me.
It bothers me a lot.
I can even think about it in the middle of math lesson.
Come on man, it’s too bottled up i swear.
On hindside,
I also am very blessed to meet these wonderful people.
Namely: Syahirah,Fadhil,Nasuha,Adilah,Atiq,Rez and Iman.
Syahirah,
I feel debted to you.
You’re always there for me.
HAHA,and do you know some ppl thought we’re attached.
Hahahaha,tak boleh angkat aku biler aku dgr pasal tu.
But we both know what we are for each other.
I’m so thankful to god for making us real close this year.
Whenever i’m with you, all my insecurities just went poof!
You’re a true friend indeed.
Thanks a lot babe, i <3! You times infinity (:
Fadhil,
Thanks for making me laugh.
I really need to laugh nowadays.
Frowning is killing me slowly.
Though your jokes are lame,
I still treasure you.
Love you lady :D
Nasuha,
I owe you a lot dudette.
Really,if i were to list all that down
It’ll take more than an hour for me to finish.
Do i need to say again?
You know what i want to say Kankan?
Dearest Nasuha, you know this.
I love you a lot, sampai tak terkira.
:D:D:D <3!
Adilah,
I don’t know if you read my blog or not
But oh wells, i’ll still say though.
You have always been there for me.
All those sms-es and calls,i appreciate them loads.
After consulting to you,i feel a whole lot better.
Really, i do.
I shall make sure we wont drift apart, no matter what.
You make a whole big difference in my mood.
And your advices really are all true.
You’re the bomb.
Love ah,love (:
Atiq,
Needless to say, i have alot to tell you too.
When i say a lot, i mean really alot.
But i guess i’ll cut it short and simple.
Your existence is too surreal.
Remember this? :D
Atiq love, your name spells all kinds of love
:D
Rez,
We’re good again.
I cant drift from you la,that’s the fact.
You and i both know this.
We know our tricks well.
Sayang kau jugak eh (:
Iman,
HAHA.sayang imannnnn.
No matter how hard you try to convince ppl ure pretty.
You are pretty actually.
Jangan kembang eh.
Okay dah, love you jutaan besar.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 6:19 AM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
i need to rant.
everything's crashing,
Syahirah i need you to hear my rant
I need your opinion really
I've been keeping this issue in my heart for quite some time
it's too bottled up
I break down nowadays because of this.
I feel too demoralized.
Worst the fuck up thing is,
No one bothered.
Syahirah,quick i'm breaking down.
I need to rant,seriously.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 9:58 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IMRAN AJMAIN (!!!) :D
So, yesterday night was nothing much
Except for myself having my religious class exam.
ROAR. i am so dead cos i didnt know it was yesterday
But on hindside, the paper's quite easy.
So i guess it's a YAY situation. :D
Also, yesterday i sms-ed someone and yeah we talked about certain stuffs.
Then, I ranted to her about my problems telling her all about my life which is crashing down.
You're the bomb, really you are.
Thanks for hearing me out, though i know we're drifting.
And i'm very sorry that happens,i shall do something about that i promise.
You're too good to me till i cannot bear to drift away from you.
And yes, i shall be strong.
I shall edit this post later on.
Before that let me leave you with a quote of what she told me,which i find logic.
" Life is not crashing down on you,It's just taking a sharp turn"
Redlove and Hotsex; at 9:35 AM
Monday, April 23, 2007
i swear Ke__ sucha sucker,mean ass.
I dont want detention la bodoh.
I almost got okay, but thanks to L__ i didnt get.
Saviour ah,saviour. :D
I'm supposed to meet YO too.
Hell, face to face talk somemore.
Go and die man.
I am pissed.
That Geek and Bitch are fuckers i so swear.
/:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 9:38 PM
Yesterday i wanted to go home with syahirah
But since she had science tutorial then yeah, nvm then.
So, i sms-ed sabrina azmi to go home with me.
Initially, i wanted her to follow me go macdonalds (?)
but she didnt want and suggested woodlands library instead.
Heh, i objected and we took sucha long time to decide where to go.
And finally, i decided to follow suit her new choice.
That is, to go to her house.
Planned to study there.
But ended up not, cos welllll my books are all at home.
So yeah, ate oreo cookies and yeah well looked at her doing her science theory wkbk
Gosh, how much i miss doing sec one stuffs. ROARRR.
and it started to rain. With flashes of lightnings, as wells as the rumbling of thunders.
Did i tell you that I am terribly scared of lightnings?
Well, i do and i just have to close my eyes when i see one.
And knowing my fear, that juniorrr kept on laughing at me.
Grr.
hahaha, i miss her la.
and sabrina selamat thought me and sabrina azmi went for a date -.-"
i havent been dating ppl eversince the 14th and also,eversince lrt friend and me quarelled.
Lrt friend, i miss all the stuffs we do together.
Really, i do. ):
But again, I'm not budging.I am a happy kid.
Okay maybe i'll do something.
But it will be slowly.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 6:41 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Sunday was yet another productive day.
aye, i feel extremely good for be abling to do revisions on math.
Seriously, i feel damn good yknow.
So yeap, didnt went out at all.
Though, i wanted to go out to purchase some stuffs.Heh
At night, I am a happy kid.
thank god i had the courage to sms You.
Enough said, I'm not budging. I am a happy kid :D
Thank you, You <3!
But then, mommy just had to spoil it by demanding for my phone went i was turning in.
This is pathetic. It annoys me so much.
Urgh.
Nevermind, i know i can get back my phone from her.
I got my ways.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 1:09 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Rasa dicuri oh hakmilikku;
Namun namamu telahpun ku ukir di tangan
Wellll,i guess saturday went quite well.
More of to a much productive day i guess.
Cos yeap,i managed to do some math revisions plus a little of science.
And uh huh,i feel a sense of accomplishment rushing down my being.HEE.
good day,i thought.
Well of course minus all the thoughts and break-downs.
Yesterday night,I broke down when about to turn in.
I know the reason why,and i'll tell certain people only.
It took me such a hard time to sleep.
I need your assurance.
But i dont see you online.
Dont erase me la.
Hell,This is damn fucked up.
Kays forget about that.
Anyway,fadilah found a nick for me.HEE.
i'm her flowergirl.
HEH HEH :D:D:D
anyway syahirah sayang,cheer up okay.
I'm sorry i couldnt finish up my convo with you just now.
My wireless just had to be such a bitch at that moment towards me.
Yeah,cheer up okay girl. LOVES.
and hey, can we like plan some study sessions together?
I need your help.
If not,then well,i'll turn to nasuha then.
:D
And oh,nita said i'm an emokid.
I dont know about that,but yeah perhaps.
I'm in a mess now.
Meaning to say,life's crashing down at my side here.
Damnit lah huh.
And,i'm still in search of a true friend.
This just plain suck.URGH.
Why does life has to be this way?
I want t try to get away,
but damn i know i cant /:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 5:48 AM
Friday, April 20, 2007
Debar-debar si hati
Debar-debar juga si diri
Wahai insani dikasihi
aku telah jatuh hati
Benar-benar jatuh hati
Namamu dah pun tercatat di hati
Tiada mungkin boleh berganti arus lagi
Sayang,cubalah fahami
Hati ini telahpun dicuri
Diri ini berkata nama setiap hari
Nama dinda selalu berbunyi
maafkanlah diri ini jika menyiksa kasih
Hati diri perlu juga diluahi
Aku telah jatuh hati
Benar-benar jatuh hati
Redlove and Hotsex; at 5:17 AM
I shouldnt have done that
I shouldnt have done that
I shouldnt have done that
ah shit, i got to know something and it's breaking me into pieces.
I never liked shocking news.
It'll give me such a strong impact till i couldnt concentrate in math class.
Hellll.
Damn shit, i.am.terribly.confused
takboleh imagine, You liking her ?
patah ah hati. ))):
Redlove and Hotsex; at 12:44 AM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Roarrrrr.
Mr G is damn nice lah huh.He postponed the science test to tomorrow.
Ah,i am a happy kid :D
atleast got more time to revise right.HEE.
anyway,gonna go queensway later to buy someone her birthday present
plus flowerrrrr.
and ooh,talking about flower, syahirah,my sayang(: has fallen in love with flowers.
Addictive right i know,i know :D
kay crap,confession's tomorrow.
oh wellllll
nothing to blog about now.
Have a nice days to all gays and lesbians out there.
straight people toooooo (:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 9:06 PM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Assembly was basically oratorical thing.Sec Ones.
Funnyfunny.But Oh wellllls.whatever.
Rez sat with me and talk stuffs about eyecandies.
HEE.and i kept on looking away when my eyes meet hers.
Ah damn shit okay.
i feeeeel high,and by then i'll be grinning big.
HEEHAW xD
after school,waited for syahirah to end her dont know what thing.
while waiting for her, i slept at class.
Ah,pure bliss man the feeling.
Went out of school and i saw ahemahem :D
high high high
and i wrote her name at my hand today,obsession.
:D
headed to great world city for ben&jerry's free icecream,
and the queue is long
But with the good companies,all's great
<3!
and did i tell you syahirah fell in love with the sunflower :D
and we both got balloons for ourselves.HEE.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 7:14 AM
Monday, April 16, 2007
I really hate it when people change because of the attention that many give.
I seriously hate it.
It's a wonder how people can have the kind of mentality where it works this way:
Become famous in class for known of amusement.
Started to purposely do something to attract attention
And this goes on forever.
Mygod! I swear you're damn irritating
I might not be of the same race as you
But that doesnt mean that you can talk badly about me in your own language.
I havent reach the state of extreme dumbness where i wont know a single little clue to of what you're talking about
I know the basics of your language.
And the best part is,
You still can dare talk bad about me right infront of me.
Quite nonsensical actually,but yeah i know you're talking bad about me
I dont like the change in you.
Seriously,i dont.
Although i know the class is somewhat making you popular
But you should still remain low-profile.
The world's ending,people's changing.
Hellllllll.
anw,stupid iman called me stupid today. /:
it's not my fault i'm falling for her righttttttt. (!!)
and nasuha,thank you for the sunflower.lovelove (:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 11:39 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
School's great, i'm so in love with school okay
AHHHHH.suker aku suker ahhhh. :D :D :D
atleast i have sth to be happy about,
rather than to think about rizal righttttt.heh.
hahaha i love today.
One thing happened and my mood was so elated throughout the whole day.
Wellllllllll, thats cos pretty eyecandy hugged me.
Mak,suker aku. HEEHAAHOO :D
First time okay.
MY EYECANDY HUGGED ME! x)
Come on man, hear me brag brag brag.
I want more hugs from her, and other ppl too.
Perhaps from the other eyecandy? HEE.
hahaha wtheaven, okay shuttup shaila.
dah jangan nak over sangat.
HAHA,tapi tak boleh control ah.
I'm too contented.
anyway thank you love person.
Sayang syahirahhhh (:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 7:59 PM
To summarized everything that happen for this weekend,
I just have to say that no other words can describe it other than the word ‘sucky’
Holy crap, everything went wrong.
I never thought this would happen.
But to my utmost shock,
It did, It just did.
And I swear I feel like a helpless little kid, struggling in the sea.
You know this kinda shitty feeling is making me insane.
Hell, I don’t even abit appreciate your honesty,
Cos in the first place, I don’t even regard you as a human now.
I rather call you a fucking beast you know.
You, being a sweet-talker, I really thought I could rely on you.
I really thought whenever you were there for me, it’s all real.
Your existence is too surreal, I swear upon god’s name.
You goddamnit know me too well that I cant take rejections on a light heart.
You goddamnit know that I cannot take lies, back stabbings light-heartedly
You goddamnit know that I have a fucking low self-esteem, don’t you?
You goddamnit know that I break down easily upon knowing bad things.
And instead of taking care of my little fragile heart, you stabbed it.
Baby, you stabbed it real hard that I can feel no blood is running thru my veins.
And I am too clueless to even bother why you’re doing this to me.
The best part is, I really wonder how you could complete your sentence
When you said “I can bet we’ll last longer than a year”
So, I guess after all, those are just pathetic words coming from a pathetic liar huh?
Even if this happened, I don’t expect the worst out of this.
Breaking up with two girls at the same time is just oh so pathetic to me.
Really, It is way far too pathetic.
Do you know that everyday single waking minute I used to pray,
That you will not run away.
Cause though i know I'm bad,
I just cannot let
You walk away from me.
Now, I don’t even want to fucking bother about whatever that has got to do with you.
You caused all these to happen.
You started this whole lie that I never thought you would play with.
I have too grieved a heart, to even believe I’m still surviving.
Cos by default, I would have already broken down.
But I’ve told myself I’ve got to be strong.
It’s never worth it to go all tearing for someone who never appreciated what I did.
Well, I shall mark this date.
14 April 2007, marks the end of the 5 month 9 days relationship.
Moron, you caused me to swear a lot.
May you pay the sins I got.
Period.
Crezawards on the other hand was sucha disappointment to be honest. Friday, the 13th HEH HEH ;D
Untitled artist deserved the champions title more than the SC Squared, I am so sure of that
Oh Wells.
Sat at the front seats (:
And I’m supposed to wear my suspenders
Didn’t wear it cos my friends said I look idiotic on it, wtf?
Have been feeding myself with coffee sweets all the while.
The highlight of the day is, Nurul and Gayle came.
Along with Paul twohill.
Mathilda’s supposed to come too, but she got last minute changes I believe?
-
Pretty eyecandy called me on the 14th .
Cheer up okay, nothing in this world is perfect.
Heard your rants, and I know youre not at wrong
Not even a tiny bit.
I’m not trying to be bias here, but oh well
May things clear up soon.
Just keep your cool, dear.
I’m sorry I didn’t really managed to cheer you up on the phone itself
Cos firstly, I had a bad day too.
Also, I can only manage to cheer you up if I see you eye to eye.
Voice to voice cheer ups never worked for me.
And again, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding you had of me.
I accidentally slept.
But yeah, you can count on me.
:D
And thank you lrt friend,
I still rmmbr what you say
Smile like you mean it.
Daddy’s pissing me off
I have to get my butt out of here now
Toodles.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 1:49 AM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Inginku dekati dirimu,namun diriku belum mampu.
I think i really like you, should i tell?
You have yet to know this.Well maybe you do,i dont know actually.
Whatever it is,i'll tell you on that particular day.
And i have no absolute idea how you'll react to this (shocking) news.
Hell, my adrenaline rushes everytime i see you,Are you aware of that?
I popped my head out of the gallery just to see you each day sitting there.
And when our eyes meet,i look awayquickly.
This obsession's killing me,really.
And no,i'm not talking about pretty eyecandy.
I'm referring to the other one.
i'll edit later on.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 8:11 PM
i swear i was damn hectic at school today. kelamkabut, macam ader ribut taufan.
math remedial was roarrrrrr cos apparently i couldnt think well enough to do the questions being administered to us.
So,blur sotong me did my work so slowly and i totally forgot that i wanted to go out with syahirah to buy stuffs for crezawards.
But topline is: Saya sayang Syahirah jutaan besar,sebab dia tunggu saya.Best kan :D
i've been spending quite alot of time with her these few days and they sum up my days to lovely days.Sya,kau gerek ahhhhh :D HAHA.
And i thought i lost my wallet at school,but i rmmbred that i left it at home econs room -.-"
so i had to run around the sch searching for the sch attendant.-sighs.
So anyway,headed down to Jurong point with syahirah,and i bought the oh-so gerek suspenders. *melts*
and if possible,i want to go bugis ah besok.
Not really sure,but yeah omg i'm so deprived of shopping okay,wth.
And i happen to sms some lucky souls,one of them who i tried implying that she's pretty and she thinks i'm freaky.tsk,tsk. :D
anyway,i am so pissed at mommy now cos she just made me give my phone to her.
What the fuck lah huh.I am so terribly,insanely mad by all means.
I want to sms ppl,wtf ):
Redlove and Hotsex; at 6:40 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
hello world,so long since i post
ha ha, not really actually but i love posting,so cannot be helped what.
so anyway,i have been spending alot of time with the lovely person,syahirah<3!
man,i love her alot can? :D
and i brought her chocolate tart today.
HEE:D i'm a goodgood girl. HAHA
ooh,i have been feeling ecstatic these few days.
the existence of certain people.I can feel the love,can you?
hahaha syahirah,this post is dedicated to you.
i love you manymany.
oh btw, pretty eyecandy wants chocolate tarts from me too.
nyeknyek.Should i bake again? :D
Redlove and Hotsex; at 6:08 PM
Saturday, April 7, 2007
My wireless has been such a bitch these few days,really getting on my nerves somehow.urgh.
My misfortune always happen at the wrong timing,mostly when i'm having a nice time,talking to certain people.
And Miss Wireless just happened to be moodswinging that moment and decided to be a bitch for awhile.Hell yeah man.
okay,so to be exact actually, i was chatting with atiq two days ago?. I dont know why, but the things we talked about made me elated.
and damnit la huh, wireless just had to spoil everything. Stupid little shit thaanggg. Geram aku,geram /: HAH!
:D
i think you know i like you.
I have no idea why but nowadays i have been hoping alot,for no particular reasons.Weird,isn't it?
and i'm also confused la wtf okay,for a different thing.
Rez and pretty eyecandy knows why. Heh Heh. and ooh,diyan knows too,if i'm not wrong.
and oh, i miss nasuha.Haha,i havent talk to you for quite some time.
Actually not long ago la,but my wireless lah huh /:
anyway,there's ymc this saturday if i'm not wrong.Right,nasuha?
Okay so how,should i go or not?
And crezawards,should i last minute dont go?
I have this so-nothing-to-be look-forward-to attitude in me now.ROAR!
i cant explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
and eventhough it moved on
it gets so hard to walk away
Redlove and Hotsex; at 10:59 PM
Thursday, April 5, 2007
[quote]
Its not what appears to be that matters. Its what you really feel that does. Sometimes, we don't cherish what we have because of what we are afraid of. Sometimes, we lose someone we think hasn't been lost. And sometimes, the person we think is still there, has already been lost.
Something is wrong,
I can feel it in my bones.
I can't explain it, nor put it in words
I just know, its bothering me so much its starting to hurt.
After such a long time, I have grown to accept that
Some things in your mind you just won't say. But
Its scratching at my soul and eating into my heart
Whenever i sense the insecurity,
Yet the reason for it fades into obscurity.
I can feel it, no matter how you try and hide
I can feel it, no matter how you say it dont matter
I can sense it, and it affects me so much I wish I can ignore it
But i cant, cause i can feel it.
As the attention around you grows, as the beauty of your smile
Becomes more and more reknowned. I pray
Everyday single waking minute I pray,
That you will not run away. Cause though i know I'm bad,
I just cannot let
You walk away from me. Yet I fear because
I can feel it, no matter how you try and hide
I can feel it, no matter how you say it dont matter
I can sense it, and it affects me so much I wish I can ignore it
But i cant, cause i can feel it.
Sometimes the smallest things means the most Sometimes the one you love hurts you the greatest Sometimes You just want to throw your fears aside and embrace her forever.
But somehow as time passes by, you feel her slipping by like the sands of time and you lose hope, converted to the knowledge that Time is the ultimate victor.
But still i hope.
I can feel it, no matter how you try and hide
I can feel it, no matter how you say it dont matter
I can sense it, and it affects me so much I wish I can ignore it
But i cant, cause i can feel it.
And I wonder, if deep down inside,
you can feel it too...
[/unquote]Labels: fears, insecurities, love
Redlove and Hotsex; at 7:55 PM
Eventhough it kills me just to have to say,
all the minute i was impressed.
I cant explain this feeling,
i think about it everyday
and eventhough it moved on,
it gets so hard to walk away.
Remember how we used to be,
So, how do we explain this feeling,
So long nobody has ever passed you.
And you know she never loved you like i do.
went to Ramen-ten [sp?] with Ri.
nice day,nice day
had meal there and everything turned out well
it was only when we were inside the bus heading home
Both started falling apart
and i swear ri's damn touching.
He teared for the first time just right infront of me to tell certain stuffs
and confessed everything that happened.
What can i do?
My heart isnt strong enough to look at people cry
So in the end, both started tearing.
i shall not elaborate.Period.
Redlove and Hotsex; at 7:04 AM
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
okay,so anyway happy fifth month to Ri.
i hope you and your gf last long.
ahemahem. cheyyy. -inside joke
okay this post is going to be strictly in malay from this point onwards.
i'm sorry but i suddenly feel so falling into love with malay right now, this moment.
oh but before that, there's no school tmr.
Rejoice babexz! :D
okay again before that, the class is kinda noisy now.
Miss N__ is mad at us, and Mr G__ might be the scapegoat in our case here.
We're in the wrong actually to be honest.
But wth, which student want to get punished right?
;D
-
kadangkala si hati ini terasa terlalu gundah
kadangkala si hati ini rasa seolah dibenci semua.
kadangkala diri ini rasa diperguna.
Diperguna,diperguna,dipersiksa.
Aduh insani ilahi, mengapa perlu bersugul
Robek-robek si hati,
robek-robek si diri.
Sembilu tajam menyiat diri
Hingga cebisan,keratan, entah apa lagi.
Terhunus ke dalam, berdarah tak terhenti.
Hamba tidak dapat bertahan diri
Mengapa hidup berjalan sebegini
Mengapa ilahi mengutus pentas yang tidak berstabil lagi?
Sudah letih,lelah dengan kejadian sehari
Tiada yang seperti memahami diri
Sini sana lari,sini sana jalan
apa begitu rendahkah maruah diri ini?
EE,merepek nak mampos punye post!
Redlove and Hotsex; at 10:24 PM
ee, i dont like what happened to me during drama today.
anw, did i tell you eugenia's a goooood,nice person?
She cheered me up right after the whole drama thing ended.
Like eventhough she went home earlier than us cos she's sick,she still bother to cheer me up through sms.
Eh tell me how good is that.
Eugene, youre the top class friend i have. :D
A few tried to cheer me up to but eugene's still the best,yo!
Now then i realise that i actually cant take rejections on a light heart.
I cant hear the negative things about me.
So,what does this suggest of me?
I have a fucking low self-esteem and i have a very high sense of sensitivity over things.
Hell man, this is crap shit.
Ri also is nice.
thanks for the very short company just now.
You really cared for me till you insisted of meeting to make sure i feel alright.
:D
anw did i tell you i love love love syahirah?
:DDDD
YAY, i'm exchanging food with her on monday.
jom masak,yok syahirah =)
Redlove and Hotsex; at 7:05 AM
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
So i began to think what's happening to me.
Self relection,self reflection.
mmhmmmm. I suck at this.
Rizal has been all understanding everytime.
Till i feel that owe him too much.
Too much that i feel i'm using him.
Hell, we need to meet very soon i know that.
And i fear the worst will happen.
God,will it happen?
The world's spinning too fast.
Too fast till i cant possibly catch up.
Too fast till i feel like i'm slipping off this very world any minute any moment.
How on earth did i manage to come across the world of eyecandy-ism.
You or her or the other her?
I feel like some busker,wtf -.-"
Shailaaa,take a break.
Youre only 14 this year.
Experience the coolness of life, dude.
yeah i should. i should.
Pretty eyecandy and the other eyecandy i'm confused,yo!
Redlove and Hotsex; at 12:21 AM
Monday, April 2, 2007
i dont know who to choose, who to like.
I dont know who to eyecandy.
I talked to pretty eyecandy and we talked abt who i should ec.
and she said i should go for the other one.
Rizal,whats with me.
I seriously dont know
/:
Redlove and Hotsex; at 5:02 AM
