Thursday, April 26, 2007

Don’t scold me if I kept on doing life reflections nowadays.
I’m sorry, but uh huh I have been doing a lot of those.
I know my posts sound emo, but wth I don’t care.
My life’s crashing down, eversince the 14th.
Nasuha knows why. I never felt so handicapped before.
And guess what I reflected about today!
About the friends I have around me.
Tak cool langsung, aku tau /:

So I got all emotional again,
thinking about the friends I’m supposed to be really bonded with.
Heck, I know I’m out of the clique now.
At first, when I was aware of this, I was disappointed like fuck.
Damn I should really screw myself.
So much for hoping, so much for wanting
In the end, I lose all of it.
It’s just so contradicting to come to think about it
The name of the clique all started because of sth I did
That chocolate cracker, PILLOWS.
I wanted so much for us to be united.
But still in the end, i lose all of it.
Mind you, all of it.

Then, i told myself i should be strong.
Being cliqueless isn’t the end of the world.
So, i picked myself up.
And yes, i managed to live.
Atleast, to a certain extent that is.
Cos honestly,
Now again, i’m beginning to feel like a stupid,idiotic loser.
I’m like some reject person, some loner.
I hate this feeling cos it worsen my already low self-esteem.

I don’t know who the hell reads my blog.
Except for some people who of course i really appreciate.

So yes, that’s the thing that has been bothering me.
It bothers me a lot.
I can even think about it in the middle of math lesson.
Come on man, it’s too bottled up i swear.

On hindside,
I also am very blessed to meet these wonderful people.
Namely: Syahirah,Fadhil,Nasuha,Adilah,Atiq,Rez and Iman.

Syahirah,
I feel debted to you.
You’re always there for me.
HAHA,and do you know some ppl thought we’re attached.
Hahahaha,tak boleh angkat aku biler aku dgr pasal tu.
But we both know what we are for each other.
I’m so thankful to god for making us real close this year.
Whenever i’m with you, all my insecurities just went poof!
You’re a true friend indeed.
Thanks a lot babe, i <3! You times infinity (:

Fadhil,
Thanks for making me laugh.
I really need to laugh nowadays.
Frowning is killing me slowly.
Though your jokes are lame,
I still treasure you.
Love you lady :D

Nasuha,
I owe you a lot dudette.
Really,if i were to list all that down
It’ll take more than an hour for me to finish.
Do i need to say again?
You know what i want to say Kankan?
Dearest Nasuha, you know this.
I love you a lot, sampai tak terkira.
:D:D:D <3!

Adilah,
I don’t know if you read my blog or not
But oh wells, i’ll still say though.
You have always been there for me.
All those sms-es and calls,i appreciate them loads.
After consulting to you,i feel a whole lot better.
Really, i do.
I shall make sure we wont drift apart, no matter what.
You make a whole big difference in my mood.
And your advices really are all true.
You’re the bomb.
Love ah,love (:

Atiq,
Needless to say, i have alot to tell you too.
When i say a lot, i mean really alot.
But i guess i’ll cut it short and simple.
Your existence is too surreal.
Remember this? :D
Atiq love, your name spells all kinds of love
:D


Rez,
We’re good again.
I cant drift from you la,that’s the fact.
You and i both know this.
We know our tricks well.
Sayang kau jugak eh (:

Iman,
HAHA.sayang imannnnn.
No matter how hard you try to convince ppl ure pretty.
You are pretty actually.
Jangan kembang eh.
Okay dah, love you jutaan besar.